The one where... the Prince is dead

I never realized before that I'm a lover of fairy tales. I mean, I'm not just a lover of fairy tales, I've been a believer of fairy tales.

I've scoffed for years at others who still hold some kind of attachment to the mythic beliefs these tales proffer. Yet, I've realized that I'm one of those people. I now know that. I've been lying to myself to think that the years of stories I've been subjected to - in books, films, magazines, etc., all types of media in fact - haven't made an impact on my psyche. They have. All these romances, time and time again and they all end in the same manner - happily ever after. The Prince saves the day. Because, without him, you see, life is meaningless. We're only complete when our Prince arrives on our doorstep, taking us away from our misery.

That's the message. When written out that clearly, it seems ridiculous. However, I've bought it for years. I can honestly say that I've been conditioned to believe that one day my Prince will come. There's a sense of shame behind that belief. Obviously, to the world in general, I'm this strong independent woman - I can do it all. Look at me - I have a career, I'm fine. I don't need someone. Especially not some man to support me financially. But then, the career starts getting slightly less stellar, the income becomes slightly less supportive and the choices become slightly less expansive.

But, despite all these bold statements, I feel I have to be rigorously honest. I now realize that I've constantly, in the back of my mind, been thinking "one day my prince will come"... "one day... everything will be okay" ... "one day ... I will be rescued". Because, frankly, life is challenging. Especially when you're on your own - so, I think, it will be easier with someone else because they will fill that emotional void. And, in a world where property rentals are high, I know a number of male friends who have freely admitted that they've got back with girlfriends, just to get 'a sweeter pad'. Great. But, I won't deny the thought has crossed my mind too - think how much I could get, property wise, just sharing with one other...

Now, finally, I think I'm getting real. Or authentic for that matter. And, at this stage in my life, truly claiming my feelings, I have to realize that I've been holding on to old ideas and it's time to let them go. It's time to accept, at this stage, that it is okay to be on my own. Even as I say that, I'm thinking: "no, it's not..." But it has to be, or, at least, I have to be in acceptance of that. I can't keep waiting for someone else to come along and make things better. I have to do it all. I have to earn the money, get the place and be okay with it all. That's the key here - to truly be okay with it all. Not just pay lip service to those words. To be in acceptance, right now, HAS to be better than the frantic insanity of fear that something I think I want hasn't happened... So, that's the challenge, let go of the old ideas, the fairy tales and the myths. The Princess can fly solo. It's really okay. Frankly, it has to be.