The one where there's a 3-D flying midget...

Am still in love with Nico's dogs. Here's Norton. But... enough animal worship. The main problem today is my back. My aching back.

My back is agony. AGONY… but I have a chiropractor’s appointment at 1.30pm. Thank god for lovely Mr R – I met him through a friend. He’s letting me have his insurance appointment as I’ve no cash. I’m in so much pain.

I failed to mention that just one day ago I met my chiropractor when she was training in the park (but had no money) and she cricked me on a park bench. I needed more however. I’m all out of shape. Bent out of shape. That’s what I am.

But… I have to pick up Mr A, Mr X's co-writer on his current, in Venice to get him to the casting. I head over to Venice but I’m an hour early so decide to walk down the beach. God it’s depressing. I know. I should feel that hippy vibe and celebrate the ocean and beach and all that bollocks. But… I don’t. I really don’t. It’s shit. There’s a vibe of ‘waster’ going on. People just getting smacked up. There are a lot of crazies and I find it all a bit intimidating. I like being around a buzz – the buzz of people getting on with their lives. This feels like somewhere where people have given up. Chill man. That kind of vibe. The kind of vibe when I was at university and people were just doing nothing. NOTHING. I kind of envy their easy does it attitude and devil may care mentality but it’s not me. Not me at all. I think that this is where I could end up. IN a sleeping back, covered with pigeons and on the beach if I don’t pull my finger out and soon. Jesus. What a thought. Time to pull that finger.

So… I pick up Mr A. He says he’ll read my scripts anytime. And we have a nice chat. I’m worried the project we're working on is going to fall apart. I want it to work out for Mr X you see. I am fond of him. But I'm also terrified of what will happen if it all goes tits up. I'll be out of a job, sure, but that's not really the worse thing. It's him - this is his life. It's all getting a bit real now.

Anyway, I drop off Mr A and head off to be rearranged. Fuck. It hurt. Then... it was back again to the casting. The actresses are coming thick and fast. People from films, Lost, House, you name it… While I’m chatting to the girls in the casting office, I see these actors drift past and head off to see Mr X. My job? Get the tea. So. This is my life. If it was a film, you’d have the swinging camera shot across glamorous LA and then… a girl carrying eight cups from Urth Café, plus a chicken soup tottering back to the casting office. See that? That’s me. I gave up an entire life and career to move to LA. And now? I’m a soup carrier. I’m 3X (yep, I'm too ashamed to admit my age). And I’m a tea lady. I really hope everyone back home is terribly proud of me. See. This is what I left a national newspaper for. Yay me. But... I have to remember... everything takes time. I just moved here and I've not even finished a draft of my new script. Perhaps I should actually do the action before whinging about the 'oh fuck what happened' scenario.

At the end of the day, Tam and I go off to see a film. My boss was going to send me out on an unpalitable errand for him apparently but, thankfully, someone else did it. A relief if I'm honest. This was one job that might have been a job too far. Yay. Result. And as I'm going out with one of Mr X's colleagues, I'm kind of off the hook for a bit. Double result.

So… off to Sherman Oaks to the Arclight to see the Uninvited. Not bad for a horror. We’re so geed up we decide to see my Bloody Valentine 3D. There are some smacked up people in the audience. They want to steal the 3D glasses. Jeeeeeesus. Best bit of the film? Tamara's scared of 'little people' (dwarves and midgets). I know this. We all know this. So the 3-D midget that gets murdered and flung out at the audience provided me with some hysterical laughter as Tam was freaking out. Brilliant. However. It's not worth the money after that. Just give me the millions spent on this and I'll pee all over it too. That might work better as a concept.

The film was made by a lot of the people who are working on the project I've been working on so it was nice to see the credits and go…. Oooooh. The film? Shit. Utter shit. And 3D glasses are annoying. By the time we leave it’s 2am. We can’t find Tam’s car. But… I know it’s there. Somewhere. After a lengthy search. Result. And… by 3am. I’m home. Ready for another day in LA LA.